my beat and rythm

2010-11-30T05:43:00.000-08:00

today in my village, the rain heavily fell down.

i love to hug the tree trunk with my feet so that the world is turned up side down

and i am gonna do nothing. nothing but clapperclawing

hey yesterday you came with a green umbrella, i hate your bright yellow long-sleved shirt

hey you fare, get around with a sylph, happily gracefully compose a shindig

i am still keeping my chin up, choked by rain water when i was upturned

you looked like a worm.

i wanna scream, yell a whoop. the sound like whoop whoop whoop !

you can fuck the trull

then i will whoop ! like WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP so loudly

2010-07-20T11:09:00.001-07:00

I am not joking that in this very hour I am crying because I miss my dad a lot. I don’t know whether it started when my mom texted me in Yahoo Messenger something about my dad’s worrying me so much, or when I just watched the movie named The First Daughter that I just watched just now with my roommates.

Oh I just remember that these days my dad does something that I actually don’t want him to do. When I met him and my mom in Yahoo Messenger and I simply told them what I was doing which was complaining to TN manager about what’s happening in the shelter, my dad immediately called Mr. Ramdan Panigoro and there he goes, he made Mr. Panigoro tried to reach the contacts in Malaysia, and also tried to reach AIESEC Bandung to complain about my condition. They just didn’t know that the problem I got here was not that big and they also didn’t know that it was only a misunderstanding. Now my dad made a problem, he didn’t know that the functional of AIESEC that they were gonna complain to is MY functional, and they will just make my friend’s duty much heavier while I cant help them. That would be so terrible, I don’t know what to do.

I was gonna be angry with him before I realized that I’ve been missing so many days at home and not seeing my dad for almost three weeks. I just realized that I had not done something like moving upstairs from watching TV when my dad got home because I didn’t want a conversation because it will end up with an arguing and quarreling. It’s been also three weeks since I didn’t see him coming to my room, touch every kind of things and asked me everything about them that annoyed me a lot. Now, I am missing those moments.

I am not a daddy’s little girl kind of person. I am not even close with my dad. We never talk more than 10 minutes, even if it last until ten minutes, it should be our arguments that my mom’s gonna ask us to stop. My dad never know about my days, and I wont know about his too because I will never ask. As I remember, it was 5 years ago since the last time my dad always hugs me too tight that I was annoyed and ask him to go. Now, both of us always start a conversation like a lecturer and a student and will end up with a little shouting or even crying because our point of views are always different. I never like my dad, he always say something too tough for me that break my heart. He never be nice to me like a dady to his little baby girl, he now never tell me some jokes, something interesting but the way to move fast, the way to be the best student, the way to work hard, and else. the way he talks this, don’t ever wish I am gonna like it because it always hurts. My dad never say ‘YES’ for any kind of things that I ask. For him, it will always be wrong that everything I do is always far from the ‘right’ word. Even if I didn’t ask him a permission to join this exchange, because my dad still will say “NO”. I can even call him the “NO” daddy. Sometimes I couldn’t stand talking to discuss about anything with him because it’s gonna hurt myself even in his first sentence. I prefer to stay alone and being locked in my room rather than talking with him. My father would be so angry with that, he knocked my door so hard even he’s gonna break the door until he could come in to my room and shouted how bad girl I am. I cant stand with him, and talk with him. Those are the reason I don’t like him. I prefer to be called like my mom rather than like my dad. I was gonna be angry if someone told me that I am like my dad. I hate it when I should go to the city where he was born because I will meet a lot of people like him, and I will never like it. I think that makes him to be a very quiet guy. He never talk to her children, not me, my brother or my sister. I am pretty sure they just feel the same like I do. He’s so quiet, he only talk with my mom. I and my sister, we actually have plenty words to say, but they are just stuck in my mind. It will end up with crying without saying because my dad hurts us a lot. It happens a lot.

But he is my daddy, no matter how. The man who picked me at 3 am in the morning even he knew that I took the car so we went home with different cars, just to make sure that I was driving home safely. The man who accompany me in the club because my band should perform there, and he, from office, directly came to the club with his working appearance. He must be very tired because he fell asleep in the club. That was so funny yet embrassing to see a man with the office appearance fell asleep in the club just to make sure that his daughter was safe. The man that who worry the most from days to days when he was told about the simple problem I had here. The man who was involved the most when I just would go for exchange to which he said “NO” at the first time. He is the one who create the “NO” but only for me, he’s gonna try to reach the “YES” himself. The man who stayed awake in the whole night just to help my mommy to make me some dress because I was upset about my mom’s making my sister a dress but she didn’t make me some. The man who gently made a lamp by himself for me and my friends to work in the whole night in order to bright us, oh and also take the beds and stuffs for us to sleep, something that I never imagine he could do before. the man that always be inside me every morning and afternoon in the car when I was in high school. The man that always accompany me every morning to buy the donuts and yoghurt when I was in the kindergarten.

When I become someone someday, I wanna let him stand beside me and tell the world that the man standing beside me is the only reason why I wanna stand here to be someone. I am gonna tell the world that this man have taught me about the real life with his own way, no matter how hard it is. And I am gonna let him watch me in the wedding day and say thanks, the word that would never be enough for him.

In this very hour my neck is sick, I feel like I really want to cry. It’s been almost a month I don’t see my dad and I’ve been missing him so much. I miss to argue with him in any kind of way.

the first time and the last time i watch the World Cup 2010

2010-07-20T10:36:00.000-07:00

I had a long night in the previous day. I just got back home at around 2.30 and slept at around 4.30 am. Earn asked me whether I want to join with her to shop in Platinum, one of the cheap shopping center but I was not pretty sure. To be honest, I still wanted to buy some things. Just so you know, all things in Bangkok are BEYOND GREAT that perhaps couldn’t be found in Indonesia with that price. I really want to buy some more stuffs but I just realized that I run out of money and energy. So I didn’t wake up, and I found Earn had left to go shopping. I woke up in the late afternoon, I passed the breakfast and felt so damn hungry. I decided to stay at the apartment until noon and waited until Bow got home. I felt so tired and I just ended up with writing some blogs, chatting with couple of friends, browsing and else, until the noon came.

This day ended with a cool party. We went to Khao San road in which lots of tourists love to hang out. It was beyond awesome, the diversity mixed here and I saw many kind of people with the loud music, what a perfect match!. Chinese , western, even Arabic people enjoyed the crowd together. Many people there thought that I was Thai because I looked like really Thai, they said. When we were heading to the club, they asked me for the ID something in Thai. All Thai girls have the ID to come in, and they thought that I was Thai. I simply answer I was foreigner and they let me come in. This place was officially my favorite place. I love the crowd and the diversity here. You can see the very drunk Englishmen were joking around with the Arabic baby who passed them by and they offer the baby the drink. It was so funny.

It was the grand final of World Cup anyway. I had never watched World Cup in my life time, I didn’t even know how I can enjoy watching the football match. But I felt so happy in that time and I just try to be in Bow’s side. We wanted SPAIN !. I enjoy the crowd a lot. A lot of Spain supporter were travelling around while singing and drinking and they were totally drunk, and also dancing with the loud music that was played. Not only Spain supporter, the Holand supporter also did the same, so that the crowd was mixed perfectly. I recorded them in my camera, I will show you some video if I have already known how to resize the video because its size was too big that I couldn’t upload it to my blogspot.

Finally I watched the football match!. Now I know why people, especially girls, really love to watch the football match. First, it made me so nervous especially when we take the country, and second, of course, CUTE GUYS. LOL. I just a bit regret that I didn’t see the match since the very first time. but for my first and last time watching football match, I felt dead happy. Even I was in a huge and great party when I watched it. it was so nice. And it simply become much greater when SPAIN WIN ! since the very first time, the games had been so boring because there were no goals at all. I kept shouting “ME WANT GOALS” but still there were no goals. But when SPAIN finally made a goal and finally WIN , we scream so loud , we danced, we sang , aaaaaah I love the crowd a lot. So actually this was my beyond great first and last world Cup watching in this year. WAKA WAKA EEE !

the city that never sleeps.

2010-07-20T10:16:00.000-07:00

It was Saturday and I woke up so late because I was so damn tired. Earn and Yok, my roommate in that time had already left because they had a photo session with their friends in senior high school. When I woke up, there was no one in the room. Trust me, it was not good to wake up, and realize that you were in the middle of somewhere that you really don’t know, with no one beside you, didn’t know what to do. It was 9.30 am in the morning and I just woke up with the horrible feeling. No one i know and I was in the middle of the city in Thailand. I turned on my laptop, and wanna talk with someone to keep me company. Then I started to think that it would be so terrible if I just stayed in the apartment with nothing to do but chatting and browsing that I can always do in my home. I asked my friend to give me the link about the information about Bangkok, and I see the great market named Chatuchak weekend market. Then I decided to go there alone than only staying in the apartment and doing nothing. Then I took a bath, prepared for the adventurous day I was gonna have.

This Saturday I had a plan to go to Cathucak Weekend Market to buy some stuff, it should be only ONE stuff, because I only had to buy one more thing. Cathucak weekend Market is reachable which mean I can only take an MRT to get there. It was awesome that one station of MRT is the entrance of Chatucak Weekend Market. I love it! because I could easily get there. I had been thinking of my walking alone the street to reach the Thailand Cultural Centre Station. I always love that kind of moment anyway. I assure you, you’re gonna love the moment you walk alone in another country, having no idea with the thing that could possibly happen to you. You cant even imagine when someone suddenly come to you and speak Thai, you cant totally understand what he says , and the one that you do is only answering him that I don’t understand Thai. It happened to me a lot. Since I walked alone along the street, there are a lot of people tried to talk with me and Thai. I also felt the situation when I walk alone in Indonesia, there will be so many boys sitting in the side of the road, trying to flirt on me. HAHA. I mean it, but I don’t feel it annoyed me, because they thought I was Thai, they spoke in Thai that I didn’t understand at all, I didn’t feel annoyed at all. ;p

I didn’t say that I felt miserable of travelling around Thai all to myself. I love something adventurous, and I simply love walking along the street alone. I saw many different things everyday, I love to pretend that I am Thai, I love to have a quality conversation with no one but myself, I love to see the cars that were just like my mommy’s car and someone’s car that could make me think that I am gonna get back home this august with a lot of new experiences to tell them, I love to breath the air, see the dogs around and tried to touch them even sometimes Thai people said to me something but I couldn’t understand. It was just awesome when you find yourself do something that you cant imagine before. Even to walk alone in my own country, I always feel miserable and think that it is no good at all to do such a thing. I never imagine that I did it, alone, in another country. I was lost in translation. But I always love to be lost in translation, how could it be not so adventurous?. But I think that that day I got a bonus. In the previous day, Bow has told me that she had a friend from England and Indonesia who were also now staying in Thai and also were interested to visit those kind of places for tourist. But I didn’t expect at all that that Saturday they were gonna come with me to go to Weekend Market. So I just left the apartment, thinking of going alone to buy some stuff and come back home again, until suddenly my phone was rung and someone texted me. The person said that he’s Tom, Bow’s friend and he’s gonna go to the Weekend Market with Jimmy, and asked me whether I wanted to come with them. I laughed so loud, even I received the message on my way to get the weekend market!. What a coincidence!. I always think that god always have a special plan for me. Trust me, when you try to be so grateful of having something that you don’t really like, when you try to enjoy every little time given no matter how miserable it is, you are definitely going to have something more!. Like me, that Saturday. God simply gave me a special bonus. I said to Tom that I was also heading to the market, and asked him whether we could meet in the market. They say yes, and i was ready to make a new friend. :D

I couldn’t imagine how big this market is. I think it was absolutely big that you could find any kind of things there. From clothing, bags, necklaces, many kind of accessories, shoes, mirrors, many kind of books, slippers, plates, glass, cups, lamps, even the animals like dogs, cats and rabbits were sold there. I couldn’t believe my eyes that almost anything here I like them the most. My eyes couldn’t get off of the ancient books, cute summer dresses, my favorite type of shoes, fascinating bags, and else. It made me really hard to chose one of them because anyway I only had a budget to buy one thing, that’s why I thought that it was not a good choice to go to Cathucak Market, the place that I can get whole things I need with the quite cheap price. So I decided to stop walking and waited for my new friends there. Finally there they were. One tall british and one smaller dark Indonesian guy were coming to me with a smile. That moment was the beginning of my great long day with them, until drop. I mean really drop!. :D

After walking around the market and three of us so confused what to buy because there were a lot of things, we decided to go out of the market. Oh ya, I only got one small clutch bag with the elephant print, and Tom only got one ancient book. We don’t really like to walk around there because there were too many things that I wanted to buy, especially BAGS. I don’t know why but once I went to shopping center, I always fall in love with them. My eyes couldn’t stop starring at them like the first time I saw the cutest guy in the world. Tom love to close my eyes with his big hand everytime we passed the bags shop and when I couldn’t stop starring at them all.

After that, Jimmy recommended to get out of this place and go to other places. He recommended the golden mountain as our next destination. From Catuchak Weekend Market, we should take a bus to get somewhere near the golden mountain. We finally took the bus and we stopped in the monument which I didn’t know what its name, but it was always seen in the news when the red t-shirt protest happened. LOL. Then from that place, to get the golden mountain that actually the three of us still don’t know where exactly the place, we walked along the street. I think we walked too long because I couldn’t see the place that we could stop, we kept walking and walking. I felt so tired yet so fun to see around. Once we stopped to take a picture with the monks. I loved to take the picture everywhere, and annoyingly Tom asked Jimmy whether all Indonesian love to take the picture. I kicked his ass, haha. After giving up, we finally stop the tuktuk, one of cute transportation that I really like and ask the driver for direction. Finally we took the tuktuk, and it was beyond awesome to take this kind of transportation, and not forget, taking the picture!.

After going to the Golden mountain that unfortunately we couldn’t see the sunset from there because it was closed already, we decided to go home. We need to take the BTS, but it was a long long journey to get there. We need to walk in a far far distance, take the bus, and walk again, walk walk until we finally get the BTS. Oh yeah, before we took the BTS we walked along the Khao san Road, the road that was really full with the tourist. It was awesome. There were a lot of people selling Thai souvenirs and stuffs, books, summer clothing, and even they sold many kind of drinks and there were also a lot of bar. This place was really awesome and I love to take the picture anywhere.

After going home, Tom suddenly asked me to go out tonight to the same place, Khao san Road. I think it was so crazy, even it was 9pm when he said that and we were still on the way back home. I had no idea at what time we were gonna leave. So I didn’t take it so serious until I got back to the apartment. Just after I arrived home, I turn on the laptop, going to chat with my old friend in senior high school, until suddenly Tom texted me to meet in one BTS station. That was crazy because I just thought that I wont happen. It was 10.30, no one in the apartment, my clothing are all dirty, I didn’t know how to get there to meet Tom, but you know what? I still left!. Haha. This is what I call adventure. Because it took a very long time for me to get dress, Tom asked me to meet in the Khao San road which means that I should take taxi to get there. I never could imagine that I finally do that. at 10.30 in the night, I went somewhere taking the taxi. But I did it, nothing was happened, everything is beyond right, and I felt a lot of fun.

In Khao san road, I, tom, and Paul, one of Tom’s English friend, were having fun together. I mean it, even it was only the three of us there, but I did have fun. We told some jokes, walking around the street to see the drunk people acting so silly and laughed at them, even we stopped in side of the road and talked with the Thai gangster who finally speak his heart out, and told us that he just recently broke up with his girlfriend who cheated. I felt like I really wanna laugh. I just imagine that now I was in Indonesia and I talked with the gangster in the side of the road, I didn’t even think it would happen. But yes, I happened even when I was out of my country, it was so silly. I went back to the apartment by 2.30 in the morning, and I got home all alone by taxi. Amazing.

This Saturday was so amazing. I did a lot of things that I couldn’t think would happen to me. I did things that if I tell my mommy, she’s definitely gonna angry with me and if I tell mt friends, no one’s gonna believe me. Everything was beyond my expectation, and one thing that you should remember is that when you less expect to get things, and when you already feel enough of what you get, God will give you a special bonus for your life. Just enjoy every single thing happens to you, assure yourself that you are happy, then something more than just happiness will come to you that you couldn’t ever imagine. Think about it, it worked for me. :D

2010-07-11T03:30:00.000-07:00

Well this is my second day I have been staying here. This is the day that I would never imagine. I woke up lately, like in the 9 or 10 am in the morning. I just felt tired in that time. When I was half asleep, I heard my friend were already awake and doing something but I just couldn’t open my eyes, because I was too tired. So I continue to sleep. When I woke up, earn was leaving already, she had to go to work, while Yok was still sleeping. I did not know what to do in this day, but Yok told me that I could go to MBK shopping center to buy some souvenirs after that we could meet up to see her friend’s graduation. So after I woke up, I decide to take a bath and be ready to go to MBK. I decide to go there alone, because I didn’t want to wake Yok up.

I finally left this apartnment. One thing I remembered I should do was walking along the street to reach MRT station. I already remember how the MRT station was so I walked along the street while looking around. It was a great city. It was crowded like in Indonesia, they also had a traffic jam but I just like the way they take care of their city. All is clean and beautiful. Finally I arrived at the MRT station. They actually have the same system like in Malaysia, but the difference is the MRT uses coins while train in Malaysia, uses cards. I always love using this kind of train. they all are well-organized and it really makes everything easy for tourists. We can see many kind of signs in English and they all are really detail that it wont make you lost.

I always love this moment. Walking along the street alone and see many new things around. My mind was just elsewhere and totally free. I could daydream about anything I want, I could have a quality conversation with myself, oh sometimes I should backpack to somewhere else all to myself. It would be so great.

After arrive at the nearest MRT station, as Yok’s commands, I should go to Si Lom station to reach the BTS station and stop in national stadium to go to MBK shopping center. Sometimes I was confused about everything because it seemed really new, and it’s kind of weird when people tried to talk to me in Thai because they thought I was thai girl. I could only say ‘I am sorry, I don’t understand’ and left. Sometimes I kept thanking to God everytime I found people who could answer my question in English. Some of them tried to ask me where I am from, how long I have been here and so on. People must really say that this is the land of smile.

I finally arrived at MBK. At the first time I didn’t know where is exactly the MBK. I just walk along the street and tried to find some sign written in English. But still I couldn’t find the MBK. In about 100 meters, I saw mcd. I decided to have a brunch there because I had not had the breakfast yet. After having the brunch, I decided to come in to the mall where the McD is, and stupid me, this mall was actually the MBK. So I came in.

It was a very very big and crowded mall. Many tourists are there and there are also a lot of thai souvenirs. I was so excited. I walked from one shop to another to see which one is cheaper (my very typical ;p). I bought some Thailand small notebooks for my friends, and also small Thailand purchases for .. well I don’t know exactly for who, but I was gonna give them to some people. After that, again and again I couldn’t take my eyes from bags!. There are a lot of discount and I just couldn’t write down to explain how I was so excited about the prices. Most of them are cheap, even too cheap. I bought two bags from one store, one for me, one for my mommy as a present for her next birthday on 24^th September. So I really have to keep it well. ;p. I also bought the purchase for my father as a birthday present also on 31^st august. After feeling enough to buy things, finally something made me interested a lot. ANOTHER FASCINATING BAG and they were only 199baht. I finally couldn’t help it and bought one for myself.

After a tiring shopping activity that hurt my feet a lot, I met up with Yok to go to her friend’s graduation. We walked from MBK to her University ; it was actually not really far. In the outside of the university, we could see many people selling gifts for the graduated students, such as flowers, dolls , even car police number look-a-like. They all were cute and I think this was the difference between the graduation here and in Indonesia. They do have a lot of things to be given, LOL.

It was very crowded in the graduation. The freshmen of this university travelled around the campus to cheer their senior in a very funny way and after that they could be paid by the senior they were cheering to. It was awesome. All of the girls are absolutely beautiful. They consider the graduation day and wedding day the day they should be as beautiful as they can be. I really love the atmosphere. I accompanied my friend to see some of her friends in their graduation day.

first day

2010-07-11T03:13:00.001-07:00

It’s only been two days here, but it’s like forever that I am totally excited. I am now staying at Bow’s apartment going nowhere because yesterday I just lost my energy like totally. It’s really fun yet adventurous here. I should tell you the whole things since the first time I came here. it is beyond my expectation , my experience here. :D it’s like I really want to have an extra week living hereee ! I adore Bangkok a lot ! ;)

I arrived here in bangkok at around 5 in the afternoon. As the direction that Bow had given to me, I went to 4^th floor to catch the taxi. I took the pink taxi and the stupid mistake that I made is that I asked first to the taxi driver , how much should I pay him to take me to ratchada soi, the road where Bow’s apartment is. He told me it could be 300 baht. I should have not paid the taxi that expensive if I did not ask the taxi driver first and realized that the taxi used the meter. Wth ?!. but it’s better than getting lost because it’s really my first time travelling here alone. The taxi driver did not understand English at all. Bow’s right that almost people there speak horrible English. So I found the difficulties to tell the driver about the apartment’s address. Even he call one of his friend to talk with me in English because he did not understand ; even when I showed him the address (let him read). Along ratchada street, I felt like the taxi driver did not really get it , so I called bow to talk with the taxi driver, finally , I arrived in the apartment. A very big apartment.

When I am going to come in to the building, I just realized that they need a finger tip to open the door. Because I am not the owner, I couldn’t open the door of the building. I asked the security to open the door and explain them that I am a friend of people who live here and I need to come in to her room. The security did not understand, he just asked me to ask my friend to go downstair. How could I ? the room is empty!. I tried hard to explain them in english but again they didn’t understand so I called Bow to let them speak with her. Finally I was asked to go to the office an they said that they want to copy my passport. Eeew ! until a long long process, finally they opened me a door and I can go upstairs to find the room number 38. There I found the key under the door. Finally I could come in and leave those stupid securities.

When I entered the room, I was kind of shocked to read some papers on the door. It is all about the great places here in Bangkok and how I could go there, Bow’s and her roommate’s telepon number , and a message telling me that Bow’s gonna be out of province until Sunday evening. Okay, that time when I just came here was Thursday which mean I need to go alone by myself for 3 days and I don’t know how. I kept thinking of how I can survive here alone for three days with no friends no food. I couldn’t easily go in and out of this building because it’s gonna take much time. should I be checked in the office if I want to come again to this building ? it was freak. That’s too bad because all people here speak horrible English and it will be fucking hard for me to go anywhere. Even I couldn’t understand the direction that Bow wrote. That’s horrible. I just thought that I was gonna just stay in the apartment until Wednesday, when I get my flight back to Malaysia.

Then I open my laptop, thanks god they do have a wifi. I feel like I really want to cry, I am gonna be stuck there until Sunday and I wont like it. I told my online friend and tell all of them about my condition here. Some of them gave me great advices but some of them just gave me some shit that made me down lower. I did not know what to do, and I was hungry to death. They do have noodle but I didn’t know how to make it, hahaha. I feel like this is just the end of my life.

After waiting almost 2 hours by browsing, chatting, and updating all my social networking account, finally somebody knocked on the door. When I opened the door, I saw two girls bringing big flowers. I didn’t know who they are but they immediately recognized who I am and told me that they both are Bow’s friend. They also came with a woman and a little girl, I think they were her family. They just went home after the graduation. I felt a bit uncomfortable but then I tried to talk a lot with them until finally they asked me to go dinner with her family and of course I said yes ! finally I was out!. They took me to the japannesse restaurant in one mall along the street. They were too kind to me and I was really excited. Okay, I forget to mention their name. They are Yok and Earn.

I FINALLY ate ! and I ate a lot o sushi that night!. Can you imagine? When you thought that you felt hungry a lot and you thought that you’re not gonna eat for the whole three days, but finally someone brought you to the restaurant serving you a very delicious favorite foods FOR FREE. I kept thanking God about it, it was just awesome. Her family are also nice too. They cant speak English so they just don’t speak with me but they tried to ask me to order more food even I was full already in that time. They also were very excited to show me their photos from the wallet and told me about anything. They also taught me a little how to write Thailand words. It was damn complicated that I couldn’t make it ;p

Finally I can say that it’s not as bad as I thought before. I still can have friends here even Bow is not here. They are so nice and kind. In the next day I was asked to join them to come to their friend’s graduation. I excitedly said yes of course. I wont leave this opportunity to see the graduation here. Finally I could sleep well. I was so ready to have fun in this city! Yeay !

trip to bangkok, alone.

2010-07-07T21:16:00.000-07:00

this is my 15th day in malaysia. i only have 30 days for visa here, which means i should go to another country to get another 30-day visa. at the first time, i and three other interns in indonesia had a plan to go to singapore, but because of different arrival to malaysia, i couldnt join with them. Then i decided to go to Bangkok. First, because i am dead curious about Thailand, second i have a friend there- Bow - whom i can sleepover in her apartment. beside, its gonna be much much cheaper. LOL. so here now , at the verry hour, i am in Kuala Lumpur International Airport. I catch some wifi in McD. LOL.

this is thursday and it's the D - Day in which i should go to Bangkok all alone from KL. i woke up at 8 am, and should leave my two roommates because they had not waken up. At first they said that they want to come with me in the airport and joke around until my plane takes off. But when i really should leave, they had not woken up, and i really did not want to wake them up, so i left them. The shelter's driver took me right to the airport. Oh, they all are really nice. i feel so blessed. :) they even asked me to have a breakfast first, but i told them that i just want to go, and i can have a breakfast in KLIA, even of course it will be much more expensive.

now , i am already at KLIA. I am having a brunch in McD and just starring at everyone who's coming and going all alone. It is such a great experience that i am gonna head to Bangkok all alone, to go to bow's apartment (i should go to bow's apartment alone by taxi because today is bow's graduation day, i just dont want to disturb her big day, so i told Bow that i am gonna take Taxi).

this is the first time i travel abroad alone. i feel like great that i find the spoiled and dependable girl like me finally can grow up to face such kind of thing. i know that perhaps 4 hours later i will find so many troubles out there just after i arrive in the country that i really dont know the language, that i should solve those problems one by one all to myself. But this is what i call experience. i am gonna pay evertything to get one precious thing called experience. even this is my very first step to start other great lonely travel to the rest of the world! :D

hope for the children :)

2010-07-06T19:16:00.000-07:00

I’ve been here for more than a week. By living together with them, all unfortunate people and glorious people who totally help this shelter, I feel so complete. I cant stop thanking to god that I have such a lovely mother who always wakes me up softly to pray every morning, and always be there when I get home, ready to hear everything I wanna tell. I also cant stop thanking to god that I still have a father who always tries to accomplish every little thing I want, even I never talk a lot with him. I also still have one lovely home in which I own one comfortable and lovely room where nobody can never disturb me there. I cant wait the time I come back home, to see the gate of my house, to smell the morning air around the neighbor, feeding my lovely cats, tidy up my room, and feel how grateful I am given this wonderful family that I still can live with.

I live here with the unfortunate children. Many of them don’t have a parent, many of them are really poor that their parent cant take care and grow them up, so they were sent to this shelter. They are in several ages. Some of them are still 7 or 8, some of them are around 12 to 19. Some of them went to school, but some of them stay in the shelter to do things like cleaning the room and else. This shelter is owned by a very glorious husband and wife whom all the children here call him ‘ayah’. He’s absolutely great and way so inspirational. This couple of husband and wife also created a shelter in Egypt. Most children here who already finished their high school, continue to study in Egypt. These two great people financially support and also build the shelter for them to live. Everytime, people don’t stop give this shelter helps. From days to days, I always see people give this shelter foods, such as instant noodles, chocolates, biscuits, and any other needs. They also always give such a food like pizza hutt, McD, KFC, and else. That makes me happy a lot. Because I can eat chocolates and biscuits as much as I can in my room , LOL :p and not only people who give this shelter help, but also companies. Yesterday I just knew that this shelter was given 10 units of laptop and computers, air conditioners , washing machines, even two cars, and wifi. I really wish all these helps can give impacts to the unfortunate children here so that they will do have and reach their dreams.

This is 7 am in here. I just woke the children up for praying and also for school. When I woke them up, they moved too slowly and too lazy. Some of them just stay in their bed doing nothing, until I told them that the car is waiting, they finally got dressed, WITHOUT TAKING A BATH. Some of them took a bath only for five minutes. Some of them just told me that she was dizzy and not able to go to school. After telling the manager here, she said that it was only an excuse so that she could not go to school. She said this kind of thing happened a lot. Sometimes they all hide somewhere that people couldn’t find to sleep and they all don’t go to school. It was absolutely horrible and I had nothing left to say about this. The manager was really mad and got angry with her and as always, she shouted to almost all of the children here. This little girl then cried in her bed while getting dressed for school. Based on this situation, I try to put myself, in their age, in this kind of condition. If I were them, I would feel everything sucks. I should be far from my mom and my family, I had no one to tell about my feeling, that I were too tired being shouted by person who’s not even my family everyday, I would also be too tired that should be awake until late night to do some exercises and should wake up in the very very early morning to go to school which will end at seven in the evening. I would also feel everything suck because when the manager shouts at me about anything, I would be missing my mom who had sent me here, I would be missing the situation with love together with my family. I would feel everything sucks when I was only 7 and I should survive here alone to prepare my clothes for school tomorrow while I should have been so happy surrounded by my family. By thinking this, I couldn’t help to cry to see this little girl cry. I could understand totally about her feeling, I totally understand that her mind in that time was shouting how this world is so cruel. I understood her totally that everything that she needs are warmth hugs and lots of cares. :’)

I love to spend my times with these children. They always ask me about anything. They asked me about Indonesia, about the foods there, and asked me whether I had once met their favorite artists in Indonesia. They love to hear me share them a story about everything happening in my country. Sometimes I showed them a video on youtube about Indonesia. Their round big eyes couldn’t stop rolling and it is absolutely cute J one day they asked me when I will get back home to Indonesia. I answered on 10^th august, the first day of fasting days. With their innocent faces, they said that I must not come back home to Indonesia. Even if I really should, I should take them all with me. It was absolutely touching and I just cant imagine how I could leave them all when august comes. They asked a lot how it feels to be in the plane as if I will really take them to Indonesia. They said they were too afraid to fly and they said that they also want to take their mommy. That was the point that hurts my neck a lot and I was almost crying in that time. they always come to my room and ask me to play with them. Sometimes I was busy with such a task and stuffs. One thing that made my neck hurt again is that they always try to find my handphone and ask me how to call their mom. I know how it feels to be the 7-year-old girl and miss my mommy, I know how sucked it is. :’(

I feel complete to share my happiness here. Everyday I teach them English and I try hard to give them the best. Sometimes I daydream that someday, they will be someone, great people, and I will remember that their steps started from the classes I have ever made for them. I wish they could be whatever they want to be someday. I wish in the future, they will come back to the shelter as someone who help and already be the very successful person in this country. I really wish that they can be more than I am. I really wish finally they could smile in the end. J

fascinating I CITY in the night :D

2010-07-01T16:57:00.000-07:00

i adapt so fast here. foods , place, working hour , even with people. at the first 3 days, we a bit jobless just because the time line was just too random. We spent most of our time at office using the internet connection to chat or checking facebook. but i started to love being in this place, and everything just seemed to be normal. people here are nice. Even the place is quite far with the center of the city which we can find everything we need, they always served us a driver that can take us there. i simply love it. eida , one of the staff here , asked me whether i have something to buy in supermarket or not. we went out while the car picking up the children from school , so i had a chance to see where the children's school is. It was quite far from the shelter. after picking up the children , we were heading to buy some nasi lemak which we can get with only RM 2. i dont really like nasi lemak. It is like nasi uduk in indonesia but it is not more tasty than it. after that , eida asked us to go to I CITY, and i just realized that I CITY was absolutely awesome.

48 hours experiencing the more

2010-06-30T13:49:00.000-07:00

This is my second day I am here. I and Lily woke up so late today, just shame on us that the children woke us up by knocking the door , asked us to have a branch. I admit I was really emberassing , but I told the children that I had a long tiring night , that I did not wake up earlier. They are cute. They came to my room , and when I finished my shower , they saw me use the lotion , sunblock , lip gloss , comb and hair dry-ing my hair , put the deodorant , they did not put their eyes off of me. One of them ask me to try the lip gloss. Hahaha they are too cute to be true.

After that , we had a lunch and just joking around with the children until 5 pm we have to go out to have a dinner with other interns in other projects of AIESEC. Like usually , uncle firdaus , our driver , took us to the bus stop and we should to take the 70 bus to go to the train station. The café was near the Asia Jaya train station. So we reach the nearest train station from where we were which is KL Sentral train station. I love the moment in the bus. I and Lily always laugh at someone whos funny freely , doing something insane and stupid, talk about everything because most of them (perhaps) don’t understand us. LOL. Most people are always starring at me and Lily , perhaps because we talked too much in English. Just so you know , Lily’s voice was so loud. ;P one of them tried to speak with us. He gave so many recommended place that we could go. I just cant wait to try them one by one on my other weekends! Yeay. I also love to see around because there we could always see the Indians sell everything related to India , like flowers and else. I love to see their cultures. Sometimes, I wanna see Ta jMahal. Not wanna , MUST!

After arrived in Asia Jaya Train station , we walk to the Piccadelly Café which is not really far from the train station. I and Lily were going to ask people around about the café , but most of them don’t understand English and Bahasa , and most of them don’t know where Piccadelly café is too. Lily was getting mad , she shouted ‘stupid country’ more than twice , and I just laughed to see her mad.

I and Lily had a great time in Piccadelly café with other interns. We talked much about everything. Most interns from India love to speak about the world cup, and the interns from UK , they love to speak about many great places in Malaysia. They also said that they really wanna try Durian. They got curious. ;p

We went home by train again. Just see the scenery from the train in the afternoon, it was just perfct. I love it a lot .

Leave everything behind you , look ! something in the future is calling you to come !

Go exchange ! :D

jump to reach the top !

2010-06-30T11:28:00.000-07:00

How far have you been away from home ? how far have you been away and survive in the middle of the place you don’t even know before? how far can you handle yourself to face the situation in which you can recognize many learning point?. How far have you challenged your

limit and grown up?.

I want you to find out mine and take you to my two days experience yesterday.

I knew that 25th june was gonna be the day that I have to do something that I never imagine before. look, I am not the person who can stand away from home for a long time. I admit that I am absolutely dependable. I cant stay away from my mom and family for more than a month and I am not a girl who’s allowed to live alone, so never have I learned how to survive all to myself, even it is in my own country. So I thought that 25th june was gonna be the day that I couldn’t even imagine. I was going to have an internship in Malaysia which I have never been before for two months, ALONE. Look at that word. Malaysia is quite near from here, I wont get such a very big culture shock, and everything is gonna be okay, unless ; I am dependable, I never be away from home in couples of days alone, I am a girl who easily get afraid of everything. I am natural born spoiled, just so you know. I wanna skip the 25th june, but it happened actually. Being two months in the country I’ve never known alone.
I woke up in the very early morning, just make sure that nothing was left. I was miserable.. the thing is I could never imagine how could I face it. There was no the picture at all of what should I do. One thing in my mind was that I should face it no matter how. I couldn’t cancel the flight , I could not cancel the contract, I couldn’t cancel everything. So I just faced it.
The afternoon came, I was already on my way to the airport. In the car, my body was shaking. I was gonna leave my comfort zone for two months and face many obstacles that would happen to me. Being in other country all to myself for two months without any picture of the condition made ma afraid like a lot. That made me shaking. But I was on my way, tha car was taking me to the airport. Everything was gonna happen, willy – nilly. The choice is always be mine ; to grow up.
I was already in the airport. I was gonna take off at 5 pm. At 4 PM I was still able to laugh, pretend to every people who kept me company that time that I was okay, that I could handle everything, even I knew that they were afraid a lot. But I went on. When it was 4.30, after check in , airport tax and else, I decided to leave and sat inside. After this moment, I almost cried in the queue. I didnt know what was gonna happen and the point was that I was gonna miss bandung and miss my home totally. My neck was hurt, I finally cried and people were starring at me. But I didn’t care I was just sad like crazy. Two months away from home alone, it was insane.

I was in the airport. I didn’t see the person who should pick me. I was still using the Indonesian number and it was not active. I did not what to do. I could not reach the person’s number and I was in the middle of nowhere. I force my self to think. I bought Malaysian number, and call the person. You know what the person said? She said that actually she wouldnt pick me in the airport but I should take bus first to get some place and there she was gonna pick me. That was crazy because I did not even know anything about this. So I was gonna come back to bring my luggage but surprisingly It was not there. I was shocked and I did not what to do. I did not even know how to find my luggage. I even forget the shape and I could not find the difference with other luggage. When I was panic, suddenly one man came over me and asked me what was going on. I explained everything and he stayed beside me always until finally I could find my luggage. I thanks god many time that I found this man. I was all alone and my luggage was not there, it was not good at all. After that, he asked me where I was going but I told him that I did not know. The thing is I should go to the KL sentral to find my friend who’s gonna pick me up. He said that I could take the yellow bus that coul directly take me there. When I am going he said that he’s coming with me. I thought that KL Sentral was also where he was gonna go. But I was surprised that actually he should take train again to reach his apartment. So he went to KL Sentral only to accompany me. That was awesome. I thanked him many times and in KL Sentral I was waiting my friend in McD. Once I put my bag in the table and then because I felt hungry I ordered a burger. When I order it, I just could not find my wallet. I Have ringgits and US Dollars there and passport as well. I did not what to do , I was just shaking. I tried to search it one more time, but still I could not find it. Loosing my ringgits and US Dollars means I could not do anything even make a phone call to my friend. Loosing the passport means the end of the world. Also my ID Card and else. That was pathetic. I just gave it to God, whatever will be, just will be. When I went out to call some guard outside, finally I saw a black and big wallet in one of the table I used to be , I THANK GOD many times again for I found the wallet :D I wait for my friend until 24.00. Then she took me to her dorm , let me sleep there until in the morning she’s gonna take me to the shelter. What a day ! :D
Now I am here. I live in the shelter around Kuala Lumpur. I am gonna work as an officer here and also an English teacher for the children. As I arrived in the office, everybody welcome me so well. They are nice, they served me like the best. I have a roommate named Lily. She’s from Egypt and we’re gonna fight together until 10th august. I feel everything is fine so far. My room is comfortable, like I have said they serve me so well. Several times they said that if I need everything just call them. So far it is nice being here. I love this shelter. The children are cute and they just are so excited with me. They ask me a lot about Indonesia and especially the artists. LOL. But shame on you Ariel Peterporn , even the children here know you!. Shame on you. LOL !
The children are around 7 – 17 years old. They are totally cute. Since the first time, they kept asking me about everything, and we get used to be close, like really really close. I love this children like totally. Even it is still my 1st day I am here, but I couldn’t imagine the 10th august when I have to leave them. I am gonna cry so loud like a baby. I mean it, I really love these children. Most of them have asked me when I will come back to Indonesia, and when I said 10th august, they said that the first day of fasting day will be very much miserable because I am leaving :’)
The people in the office are nice as well. They always have a plan to bring me and Lily to some nice place in Kuala Lumpur, and also ask us to join them to their relatives wedding. I feel like a real family here, and I love it .

On Saturday, I and Lily went to Kuala Lumpur to see some interesting stuff there. The shelter has a driver so the driver take us to the place where we can catch the bus. I love the bus, it is really different with the bus in Indonesia. It is absolutely clean and they don’t have a name, but number. I catch the Bus 70. It can directly take us to Kuala Lumpur.

After feeling enough having fun in the shopping center and found out that actually I don’t have enough money to buy things there (approximately the shoes and bag priced RM 2000+, this was insane!!!!). We finally moved to China Town which mean we have to take train again to the next train station, to Pasar Seni. I love this China Town much more than the shopping center in KLCC. Everything is cheap here. If the seller offer you the RM 100 for a bag , it means that you can get the RM 40 – 50 bag. It reminds me of CIMOL in Gedebage. LOL. Look, girls will always be girls. Love cheap things ! ;p I did not buy a lot of things. Beside I knew that it is the KW 1 things and I don’t really love branded things, it is like gambling. So I only bought the Anna Sui Wallet which I have been searching since I was in Bandung , with the RM 20 price. Quite cheap right ? oh I love this China town.

Lily bought so many things. She’s the real shopping freak in the world. She bought the two LV bags and a purchase, perfumes for her brother and father, Toys for her little brothers, and many thing else that I couldn’t remember exactly. What I remember, she spent more than RM 300 in less than two days.

It had been a very tiring day for me. This is my first day and I was just tired to adapt with the new environment, the people who cannot understand English and Indonesia so well, different foods although they are familiar with ones in Indonesia, the weather, and the way people treat me, everything need time to be fixed with me. But so far, it was such a nice experience. Especially train. I always love train so that much. Anyway, this was weekend , it means that we had not started the work yet. We were gonna start the work on Monday. Just cant wait to see and teach the children!.

I am here to change my self. To see the wide world , running away from all things I used to grow up. I let the world see me. I change my self , I change people everywhere, so that the world can change by our little step !

Dream was like a very high building. When we see from bellow, we create a thought of impossibility to reach the top. We wont ever think that we can reach it by jumping. We wont ever think that we can reach ot by flying. The thing that we have to do is open our mind and never stop believing. Close your eyes , jump , and you touch the top .

I am gonna start my journey from this twin tower. I am gonna create a time i change the world by giving impact to society start from this twin tower, to great wall, blue mosque, Eiffel , colosseum, until the world could be change from the very first step of something small I give to people in the rest of the world. J don’t you want the same?

GO EXCHANGE ! :D

i hate (love) monday !

2010-05-11T05:27:00.001-07:00

happy monday , people ..

I always hate monday. The beginning of terrible days , the mistreatment of a sin we make in the previous day ; sleeping in the rest of the day, being annoyingly unproductive in many ways. I hate to go to Uni in monday, because I would see Mr. Wilson , one of the lecturer I dont really like. Please ask me why, because he always give me the most terrible score in each repeated tests and I dont like it. But then I start to like this class , because I had picked up some lovely and inspiring quotations that accidentally came out of his mouth randomly, but I mean it , they are just amazing.

“a way to heal a pain is forgiving”
“if you have not experienced the pain , you would not ever feel the hapiness”
“by suffering , you will feel the perfection”
“love is just like politics. It changes. It is not important how we love somebody , pay more attention to the one who loves you” <3 <3
“be happy in your life and work hard , dont regret for what you have done ..”
“poorness can be changes”
“if you want to drink a perfectly cold coke , try to find it by walking 5 more miles away in the hottest desert”
“if you wanna be a good author , dont ever tell the pesimistic”
“living economically is boring , but living by working hard to have a lot of money is far more fascinating”
“setiap perempuan itu cantik , tergantung pada dirinya sendiri”

even everything he talks is inspiring quotations for me . Simply love it !

2010-05-11T05:25:00.000-07:00

stop questioning why everything ends. Because this is earth , everything does end. Period.

sweet packages

2010-05-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Happy Readers ,

meet me again , a dreamer. Feels like a long time since I wrote something in this blog. It is my great pleasure to be back , it is good to have something spokean , something shared. So these will be about anything at the first place I think could be something to see , something to hear , definitely something to learn. This is my life , shared from a small room of the mind, my restless and senseless mind.

Has someone asked you about the inspirational someone that inspires you a lot in life? What will you answer? In my public speaking lesson , I was asked to present a story about things or people that have inspired me a lot in life. What will I prepare for this class ? If it is possible , I want to bring my door. There many pictures stick. A picture of sweet little girls with a black , blonde , brunnete , and brown hair , a picture of tall and short guys , a picture of angelic-faced guys , veiled sweet girls , a picture of friends, friends of mine.

Some moments of yours eveyday just passed by. You sit beside your friend , hearing their boring story while mumbling what-is-the-important-point-for-me, having lunch with your uni friends while seeing them excitedly talk on phone with someone they love , watching them smile , laugh , cry .. this is the actually unforgatable moment that we always ironically forget.

Sometimes I see my friends crying because of her boyfriend, and sometime I see them laughing and smiling all of the time by finding someone new. Not even once , I see my friends to be dedicated students of their Uni , and more than once I see my friends failed. I still see my friend's falling and I see the whole process of their waking up. I see their changing and growing , I see them crying. Many times they hear me a story , many times they be there to keep me company , many times they not.

Paying attention to them like watching some inspirational movies. Seeing them crying and hearing the rest of their tragic story makes me finally understand that this is the time for me to be way stronger than before. This is only a mechanical system of life that repeats. Heavy raining , then shinning with a rainbow , the dark of a night to the sunlight of the morning , even the world turns around, it repeats everything. And they make me realized , like , totally . Seeing them fly away to here from their country makes me realized that this world like has no end and we as people have a right to see everythig. No distance here in this world , if I can say. There are always various ways to get there, possibilties possibly come to you if you dare to dream. Seeing them smiling and waking up from their falling makes me understand that everybody deserves to be happy, no exception.

Have you realized to whom you be back when you are falling apart and sad ? Wont there be couple of friends telling you some jokes trying to wake you up? Wont there be friends text you everytime to make sure that everything is alright with you when you are down ? Friends are like a special package of happiness and lesson to be learned.

random one

2009-10-10T12:54:00.000-07:00

hello happy reader , it's been quite long time not to post something here. soo mucchh to tell . i think i need columns like in a newspaper , or even the far bigger one to write all my current stories. this morning i only wanna post the random one , and perhaps i am going to share some random pictures as well , so enjoy .. !

teh prosa , teh yeni , me , mia , teh windy , teh irma , boy i dont remember the face lool

nadya , and frankly i dont rmember the other faces

let me tell you about the sweetness of facebook technology. this photo had been uploaded to my childhood friend's facebook and she tagged this photo to me. at first , i thought why the heck this soo-old photo was coming to my profile. but when i see the second girl in the row above , with the tawdry ribbon in the head , for heaven's sake that's me.. hahaha . cute , i kind of got a long flashback just when i saw it in the first place.

anyway , the girl beside me whom i called teh prosa , beyond expectations she's got married and have a little cute boy , and now she lives in Bali with her happy family..

i've been terribly hectic around these days. i've got an annoying lecture called interpreting. everyweek , we have to make a paper and we are insisted to write it down with our own hand (computer is banned) on 16 full pieces of foolscaps !! can you imagine that? it repeats everyweek. and i've been damn tired , but what the heck can i do? write and go on.. and about this picture , actually i and my friends share our ASS.es on facebook, we tag each other , and this is so much fun.. a bunch of thanks for facebook, it is really sweet. :)

well , shame on me to share this kind of photo. hehe .. i know my face is really messy but actually this is the photo that aiesec tagged to me , and actually this picture is taken in the Focus Group Discussion , the second selection to be an aiesec.er. and sooo deaad happyy that i made it!! i am accepted as an aiesec member after being a bit pessimistic in the interview selection. i am sooo happy that finally i am a part of that international organization. for the complete story , i'll tell you later on.

devina me gutti putti prisya erina

these are the other tagged photos. let introduce you to my dance sweethearts. hehe .. yes , dance is my highschool thingy and i am soo happy to find these photos back. beside , i am so excited to see my fatty body , cant you see ? in senior high school i am not this skinny. actually , my dance team do a 'breakfasting' last ramadhan. though onnly the five of us , it was so much fun .. and we took a photo in front of our lovely school !

devina me erina putti guti

and suddenly i found this pic. hahaha .. i have no idea why i have a geek look while my friend, lulu , is way soo hot.. loolll

and i miss my girlfweends so damn muchh !!!

wow what a night !!!

2009-08-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

my gosh , last night was just unbelievableee .. what a night !

i got things i've never been through before and it was just like .. O MY .. these were the first in my life time and all happened in a night ! can you imagine when you just get all first experiences that you never think they could happen to youu ? and they were like in a dream? and all happened in a night ! woww ..

1. i and my friends were headed from bandung to jakarta for JavaRockin'land and last night i stand in front the stage where Jonas Bjerre sang wif a VOICE OF THE ANGLES !! oooooooo myyyyyyy ! i couldnt believe my eyes !! he's fucking handsome anyway , i think i just wanted to shout "JONAS , let me hug nd kiss youu !!"..

2. maybe i am so out of date but i was just happy when one of the restaurants serve VEGETARIAN food thingy ! hahaha ..

3. to be honest this is my very first experience in my life time when the boyfriend of mine asked me to break up ! hahahahhaa .... wow , and it also happened in the same time in javarockin'land ! wow ..........................................................................

4. after we broke up , I WAS LOST in the middle of sea of the people and couldnt find my friends .. first i just thought to give up and it was like yesss everything will be , will be .. hahahahahahaha ... o my , what a first experience being lost !! ckck !

save me tonight

2009-08-02T09:03:00.000-07:00

hello , this is 11.22 pm in the night on sunday. i havent slept yet like always , and i cant blame no one .. maybe about since 5 hours ago i've been sitting in this very room , and i cant say i am not bored.

i am still with missy , visiting friends house. oh sure you dont know , well do you ? missy is my pet , on pet society .. so you guys , this is what i've been up to do , doing pet society on facebook in the whole whole night , d'oh !

so sad , today , exactly maybe from 12:01 am , i've been thinking about my future. yes , last night i dreamed the very same thing like i'm thinking . i dont want to think about what will happen later especially to me. whatever will be , will be. i just keep suggesting that the fate of mine wont be changed whether or not i think hard about it , am i true? and maybe you're right if you say i am afraid. pitty me , when children are too much afraid of monsters , well the monsters in my version are future.

i am afraid i wont have what i've had today. i am afraid i am not with one i am with now . i am afraid i cant do what i've been doing , and that's pathetic while i exactly know it will be , it will happen , no exception .

i tell you , i am not happy enough . i dont do what i suppose to do , what have been conceived in my mind. i should do that , i should go there , i should make it , i should catch it up , i should be this , i should be that , the fact i just seem to stop thinking and dont move. no , never , that's me. i said i wanna be a piano teacher hardly , but now i dont play piano. i said i wanna write , now i dont string up the words. i should feel guilty , then i whisper being one step farther is hard. ahh crap. but it's like really i want to pause my whole life to be like this still.

actually , it's already monday. i've been writing this for hours. and in this late night , i always feel weird with my self , like having a different world , being in the different place , with a different situation , having no one , and it's suffering, terribly. maybe i act like a drama queen , but i am not acting , every late night i do feel it. and i have insomnia so everyday means hell.

a well - done

2009-07-15T06:19:00.000-07:00

today , i had nothing worth to doo .. i mean it , so today i just browse many sites , walk several blogs , search for the-online-shopping sites, and many others. well , yes .. maybe those ones are worth it, yeas.. i've been doing that for almost 8 hours ; my back's already hurt and my eyes's already dim. but then i was surprised when i found one of my friend's deviantart in his profile. when i opened it and browse some pictures , i found the pictures of me that i really really like and i've forgotten it. yes , it's been a long time ago since those pictures were captured. it started when one of my friend asked me to join a photo session with numbers of her friends. it was fun. our pictures are taken in one of classes in ITB bandung. i would never imagined that common classy class could be the greatest object!

click here for this photo,please :)

click here for this one

and here for this one

they're a wow ! dont they have a damn great tone and concept?

visit my firend(he did capture me and make such wonderful pictures)'s deviantart here

what a screwy day !!

2009-07-15T05:28:00.000-07:00

so many oddish things happened today ..
1. in this bright day , i dont know why i felt so damn cold , that i drank a cup of very hot tea , and wore a sweater. but when i go outside , soooo vice versaaa .. it's hot so bad!
2. today -oh it's my crime to take this up again - is very weird with my new (hopefully temporary) status = single .
3. my catty turns to be so aggressive since the time she was in the 'copulate time' , what do you call this ? a time when you really have a desire to get married ? lol . she moves in the dangerous way , she prefers to be outside much better than inside (however i keep her inside hardly because i wont let those dirty stink cats marry her).
4. i've been having pretty bad dreams ! very bad ... that maybe i'd rather keep my self awake tonight if it continues ..
5. i just suddenly hate my itunes ! i think i get bored with the playlist , i need more fresh and new sooong !! please text me if you have some recommendation artists :)
6. i feel miserable currently . ps : with no reason .. and i hate this condition ..
7. i wonder with my hair. ooohh ... i need a hairdresser so soon!!
8. i feel not comfortable with my face , should i change it ?

actually , i took my baby out this noon. she acted very cute that actually i know she totally hates car-trip.

she comfortably sleep in the dashboard

if i cant keep him , i will keep this baby well :)

in one little 'hello' , we've found so many 'goodbyes'

2009-07-15T05:12:00.001-07:00

this
to
that

you see , no ? that time when we've been through together never be that worth for him :')

me to mew

2009-07-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

take a look , i put mew on my playlist today ..

after knowing that mew's coming to bandung on august 4th in eldorado bandung was just a gossip , i delete 'seeing mew's concert' from my wishlist. i know indonesia , i said to my self and i tried hard to forget it . i use the money i had earned for the ticket to buy such trivial stuffs and fashion thingy. but look what i've got , mew's coming to indonesiaaaa .. at first i was not so sure that it is for real , and i've checked their MySpace several times , the confirmation about jakarta didnt appear yet. but look , now it exists ! here's mew's shows schedule , and i read the word jakarta there , which means , my big dream now comes truee !!

(click here )

from now on , i will only let my ear hear MEW , preparing my singing along during the concert. oo for heaven's sake , this band's gonna give us the cheeriness so soon. i still couldnt believe in what i heard two days ago , when one of my friends who is freaky , cracky fan of mew as well , told me that mew show will be held on jakarta in javarockin'land festival 2009. aaaahhhh i was so damn speechless. she said that ticket costs only Rp.115.000.00 (click here ), by buying online. actually we should pay an extra money especially for mew performance. so , soon she ordered the ticket for me, and now i am waiting her confirmation about it. i hope there's no constraints ;)
cant hardly wait august 9th .. !

look at my looklet !

2009-07-13T03:35:00.001-07:00

THE COWGIRL WEARS TOPSHOP
by : flutterflies

DR. MARTENS ROCKS !
by : flutterflies

click here fer other looks and details ;)

with you , the earth's spinning around in the oh - so - complex rotation

2009-07-12T12:32:00.000-07:00

hello , have a good night's sleep
dont let bed bugs bite you ..

yess , those words are easy to phrase to your sweets in one normal night. you text them , you ring them , you -yeah whatever . they are simple , they are usual for you as lovebirds. oh , you call it love , i say 'lovebird' please it's not exactly the word 'love' dont you see the 'bird' behind it ? for fuck's sake it's love .. yess , ever again , i narrate a love.
i mean , it's easy to spend most of times together , share things together , and everything you can do with them and dont forget to add some 'togethers' behind. you can easily miss them , never been able to bring down your longing . you can easily say you love them a heap , yes it's easy ..
but tell to those lovebirds , tell them immediately .. we loose our heart to struggle with our very own conceptions which are always different. we're different , we both are always different in every way and see , nothing we can do to repair it. no - nothing . he will stand in his place , and i will stand in mine , really we've never been in one same footing. during this i assume he never gives me a shit , i dont know he does , but i feel so. so i give him no shit as well , i know we wont again to make reactions , responses , even communications or sort of. i promise him i wont give him a shit , so i will not ! everything seems to be complicated that i'am 100% exhausted already and wanna be off !

so this is 2.55 am in the morning , i'm feeling cold badly , i'm wearing my grandma's thick cardigan , i wish tomorrow i wake up in the end of the day , to forget what i suppose to do , like texting him a good day ......

i always lurbb andy warhol !!

2009-07-12T12:17:00.000-07:00

sisters time ; we rocked the mountain ..

2009-07-12T11:07:00.000-07:00

i dont know for sure , how long have i not met these girls ...
but i was really dead happy when we're all back around , talking about a high school thingy , hot gossiping ; well yeah though something being stuck in my head that time was all about the mischief of my fucking x - boyfriend , i still love to stand inside the road , seeing nothing but each-other ..

we were having an afternoon lunch together

and yayy ! i got my chairmate back

2009-05-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

putting your mind before your mouth is necessary ...
but controlling your emotion is more important

-me, for i love us to be together -

2009-05-08T05:20:00.000-07:00

"Anyone can become angry—that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way—this is not easy."
- Aristotle, The Nicomachean Ethics

DIY : cupcakee !!! :D

2009-05-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

i dont experience a lot in DIY-thing. i feel there's nothing i should be able to make or stuff,while people still sell for a living ,hehe . especially kind of food. what on earth food do you think i like ? nothing . lol
but i mean it , i dont like eat , so that you see skeleton form in my body
but look what i have done !!!
i 've made cupcakes totally myself -without any kind of help from family haha - from buying ingredient , baking , to putting in order it and VOILA !!

it is not succesed in the very first time because i shrank the cake by opening the oven (oh i just couldnt wait to see them!!) , put chocochips as well as chocolate milk in a huge measurement so it tasted too sweet but then by learning the experiences , i perfectly made a real cupcakes on march 17th!!

i know those candles are too much and i know i am not that good in 'decorating' it , but trust me as you first bite my cupcake , you simply need to bite for more !!!! hahahaha .

2009-05-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

"love me for life , live me for love"
look at those words , under the word hadlsalivate ..
this was found accidentally from my friend's bag
and oohhhh ....
this is how you should love and live me :)

2009-04-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

i know i am such a homo significans - a meaning maker ..
i know how you're not satisfied with the breakable me
with the the not-perfect shapes
with the ugly structures
with less of sizes
with the restricted everything
this is what that voice means , mates
i know it supposed to be
i know with both opened eyes that i am
i know how you treat me widely
i know you want we're divided by a smoke for something that i am
i know you walk me from someone else's sight
for fuck's sake , you dont want to open me
now tell me who on earth you are ..
keep me walking
just dont let me live a life of a slut !!

silent f(or)ever

2009-04-20T07:02:00.000-07:00

'silent' could be my middle name. remember when you could neither saying nor explaining something in your fucking mind ? know that situation ? it seemed that all words and phrases are already packed in my mind , complete. but then this is hardest situation to give it as a voice ..
this is freak , you know ? its simply like those unspoken words transform into a pain in your heart .. u just feel unfinished .. i dont know , i terribly hate the condition of not-saying-things . and i dont know why i just cant or not want .
when i argue and feel very 'enough' and and and dead miserable , i prefer shut my mouth , i let my self keep silent even though i have plenty creepy words to defeat , i prefer to listen up , unless my tears come down . ohh pitty girl .
or when i feel uncomfortable , keeping silent just make everything stays still in the same way , i dont likeeee to be like thatt !
or even agreeing something i dont really like :

BUZZ!!!

BUZZ!!!
BUZZ!!!
syubidubipop : Knapa g dbales?
flutterfllyss : udahh ituuu
flutterfllyss : buzz
flutterfllyss : aku tuh kalo diem berarti setujuuuu
flutterfllyss : lol
syubidubipop: Haemmh. Km tuh kl diem jg brarti ngambek, apalagi kalo udah menghadap jendela...
flutterfllyss: hahahahahah
flutterfllyss: itu aku diemnya sambil menghadap kamu kalo lagi dijalan
flutterfllyss: berarti setujuu
syubidubipop : Iya, ntar ak inget dhe..hehehe.

we're dating wif a pizza

2009-04-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

this is how our saturday night fell
me and him made a WOW pizza
lol.

addiction .

2009-04-12T07:22:00.000-07:00

you might depend on something ; its existence may be so significant for you. Nothing you possibly get when you're with this but what called amazing pleasure. this is not the only one main stuff that you cant live without, however you know the situation not always give you this , this is probably restricted of a time ; not all about immortality. there must be a periode when you get it no more.
you feel so 'zero' when you no longer have it as kind of 'daily-use'. the only thing you can feel is just a loss and your all about the perfectly unstabile condition. you realize you're still alive however ; you see your chest moving up and down and you're again to breathe. but you see clearly there's a big - empty hole situated in both your mind and heart - kinda pain - and you understand you're already addicted to this , considerably addicted ; you cant stand having it only twice , you cant see it in a distance.
how could i say ? i am addicted ; i cant stop although i want to.

well it's not about a thing anyway , its about one. .....

2008-11-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

hello everyone .. its been a long time ga posting sesuatu di blog ini .. kenapa ? pasalnya waktu - waktu sekarang saya sibuk ga jelas . kenapa ga jelas ? karena disadari atau ngga ,waktu saya banyak terbuang sia - sia .. hehe .well , lets refresh everything from now on .. ;)

mad saturday !!

2008-06-09T17:52:00.000-07:00

GOSHH !! what a night..what a day ! i suppose i am totally cursed just today .. what the hell is going on here ! keep my thought , i think i am gonna die in a later hour ! SHIT MAN !! hahaha .
i never think to be along such a day , or days ! gosh(again) .. how many days do i think i had been cursed like today? this terrifying situation would have been kicking me out of the line. ergh ! SHITT (once more). instead , take them away !!
well , let me share you my mad saturday :p
i got a terribly cold morning and to be so honest i felt so badly hard to open my eyes just for pray today ! then my early - morning blue syndrome successfully got me suffered.. and and and .. i was sleepy , friends ! you know what , friends ? i just had slept for three hours the last night before, friends .. imagine , friends ! i was so sleepless , friends ! what a shitttyyy shiiittt morning it was , friends ! what a horrible way to start a day it was , friends ! BLOODY HELL , FRIENDS !! (ahhahahaha)
then i slept again after that , i guess just for a little while , but oh SHIT (shit , once again) the day was going hotter and much brighter. yiew , i hate being asleep in such situation , friends ! SO MUCH ! so i woke up badly hardly did .. and i took my fucking warm sweatshirt away, looked for my breakfast , i should have a branch , instead !! but there was no food on the table . what a fucking horrible morning it was ; this house was so quite , nobody was there and i was starving pretty much !! DAMN IT !
in the goddamn bad mood like this , i had a fight with my mother . "let me go out from the house", that's my big thought ! do you think i should debate about those silly little things with her ? BRAVO .. this successfully happened a disaster ! she couldnt just let me read this fucking hard novel with fucking complicated structure of the sentences for my final test .."farewell to arms" .. what do you think this novel is about , huh ? i got not more than a half from each chapter ..
and now , what the hell shall i do at the moment in this goddamn quiet middle night ? my beloved cat's gone , i am sad , indeed !!
i keep doing everything with no purpose tonight . shit ( last time , i promise..) it's oh so quiet , la la .. but still i get a cursed. when i need a bit harder music , then i know that my music player is out of the system .. SHIITTYYY SHIIITTT (very last) . this day's like a bitch !

i want ..

2008-06-03T05:23:00.000-07:00

I want to be someone before leaving, and already get something called life. I dont want to be just a woman , with a long hair , shiny eyes , fine and perfect skin , beautiful and flirtatious face--that maybe many people can easily get --when i am older.i want to wake up in the morning with a different view each day, no matter how it is. I want to breath many kinds of smells and hear all noise.
I wanna have something that can remind you to all things about me. I want to live , live a real life , and that’s the reason why i’ve been breathing.

i want to be someone like a brave king leonidas for his spartan and many other heroes who had done meaningful contributions for everyone they love and are praiseworthy. Or if the problem is gender , so i really want to be kartini for her country . for the next educational life in the land she had lived. She had lived, she had felt how to live, rightly.

If i am a horse , i dont wanna wear a saddle , go with my ‘landlord’ to the war.. i can be died there, in the unexpected moment with much regrets. i dont wanna have such a ‘landlord’ anyway and i hate wars. I wanna run as fast as i can to nowhere , stop and have a rest everytime i want. And if someday i have to die , it’s just because of a limited time of the life

I actually dont wanna live a life of a selfish girl. But i do . I maybe more than selfish , because i want to be great although it’s pretty hard to imagine how it becomes true and from which way this miracle may comes. I am too selfish or annoying or even disgusting because being called incredible by everyone i know is one of my big dream. Oh .. i am so disgusting !

If i am a cat , i dont wanna be taken by a catlover but i wish people who dont like a cat,when they see me , they could take me , bring me home and they become a big fan of cats. If i am a fish i want to survive to live until i die because of an illness, not because being ate by predator , or by a carnivorous animal. I dont wanna live in a not – more – than – a – meters aquarium , and being one of a room decoration.

We live in the earth and the earth is a life. Before i get all essentials of the earth , like i’ve told you , i wont agree to leave a life.

I’am selfish , i maybe disgusting with such a teory. But,dear buddy, this is called motivation that you must have. Motivation, the only thing i have because i already know i’m not someone. Not yet , i wish ..

each - hour brainstorm today

2008-06-02T07:08:00.000-07:00

"i will be so so guilty.. when i just stay here , around the circle and know already that there are larger , greater , and so much more wonderful lands outside my window "
-mondaybluemonday , 08:08 am-

"i argue , being alive is an irony . i should see anything in this world that i called them a life. i want everything called experiences , before i get them all , i wont agree to leave .. "
-earlymorningblue ,09:54am-

"saya takut akan masa depan . sedangkan matahari tetap berjalan dengan riang , tetapi anggun .. hangat sekali. jarum jam tetap berlari tanpa lelah , bergairah seolah mengejar .. sedangkan saya seperti orang aneh yang ketakutan berjalan pada jalur yang sama , tanpa arah dan petunjuk ... "
-mondaysweet,09.56am-

"hati ini sama seperti pesawat . dan hanya satu pilot disana , hanya satu dan itu adalah saya.. kalian tau ? hanya saya yang tau dimana kalian bisa duduk dipesawat ini , hanya saya yang tau pada berapa derajat pesawat ini akan berbelok , dan dimana pesawat ini akan mendarat .."
-monday , 10.03am-

mssg fer mr.speakless !

2008-02-28T00:05:00.000-08:00

dear mr. speakless ,

oh .. well , where ever you were , i promise i dont care and i wont let it spreads around my mind now ! i wont let every single thing disturbs my way to a little .. little happiness ! dont you know that there must be a very simple answer for all ? yeah .. simple ! so simple ! :) and dont you know that i always want to find you , talking about this matter? . then i know it's quite impossible , to make this easy thing comes true : i will never find right place in a right time to meet you .. to only say hello .. to say that so far i am alright ! i will never find it ! my expectation never lies ! but dont ever bother about this matter , i dont even care whether i wont see you again in anytime !
have you ever heard someone told you that i said your name over and over again ? i was just such a fool , you know ? and i am telling you that it's getting better and i'm gonna get a better me so soon as possible ! . sure , when you're gone from a sight of mine , if it doesnt matter ! dont act like you really want to know everything in every inch around me , baby ! because how ever clever you are to hide that horrible regardlessness , i always clearly see and feel this !
because it's you , mr.speakless .. it's really you whom i should date with .. whom i should talk with .. actually it should be , dont you know that ? how stupid you were .. didnt you understand that you were a boyfriend and if you were completely real human , you should act as my boyfriend for sure ! dont you know that you did all things to me like i was less than a FRIEND of yours ! how stupid were you , huh ??
oh well , doesnt matter ! i dont want to discuss this an unimportant little thing now ! like i have told you , i dont even care anything of you ! i dont care with any reasons from you : telling me that it was a hard - full time that you couldnt organize . wow .. what a ridiculously stupid reason was that , huh ? i didnt date with your time or your days , i should date with you , yourself !! you know what , i recently understand that you were very bad in your way . too idealist in a very bad way , and i really dont love this , okay ?
and i've put my weakness into a hidden place of my heart , and let your welfare , successfulness and dreams flow up . i let you smile with these all and for sure , you have to let me be in the same way as yours for now !
listen to me , boy ! our time may be out .. i want you to forget all things between you and me , like i have done ! well , maybe you have done too , i never know ! but trust me , it's completely easy , isnt it ? it's just easy when there's no moment , happiness , or story left that we ever did ! there's nothing to remember from me , so you are ! you didnt even meet me randomly somewhere ! we never met each other . okay ? you were like someone else for me ! forget and dont bother with each 'i-love-you' i ever said . that doesnt exist anymore and i promise my lips wont say so because i will never let my mind feel so ! it's just meaningless and there's only your meanness in my mind now ! it's the easy one i've said , mr.speakless ! it's my last decision .. last ! to meet you or to know you no more . it's just been a very long time to wait you say something and i decide to take my own way !
you know , i go through all days in better sensibility without the senseless you in my mind ! it's pretty enjoyable , ok ?! dont you remember that you've made me so confused in many way ! hard to find a perfectly true word to describe how's my feeling , but that's only a foolish me before i find it as simple as i breath in this earth ! means you didnt care , you didnt love , or you didnt feel me there ? so what kind of reason that could push me to do the same ? it used to be hard but i just want you to know that it's going to be pretty much easier ! i'm not into you anymore and i'm really over you , so stop coming in the middle of the night with any kind of pathetic stories ! because from now and forever , i wont hear !
i dont have someone else , i am dead serious i dont have some else yet now ! i know someday he's gonna come here , but you know , i never ever think about it . walking alone , think in my own way , trying to get my own welfare and happiness mean watching everything in a beautiful way ! everything is oh so wonderfully nice .
writing all of this , wasting my time in front of this little screen , thinking many perfect words to write this mssg for you , dont mean i care ! i just want to write very last words for you .. because i still appreciate you ! not more !
so , dont ever come again in every single time , ok ? !

someone who's never been around you ,

tazkya
( i m not sure you still remember the name ! :)

i was not that PATHETIC !!!!

2008-02-18T05:19:00.000-08:00

kadang aku bingung mau ngapain lagi setelah ngerjain tugas , updating friendster , facebook dan account lainnya .. sedangkan kayanya aku masih gatel diem didepan komputer . akhirnya barusan aku iseng liat blog - blog yang di posting tanggal 8 february 2008 , something reminds me ! oh , well .. for your information , si something itu ga bikin aku inget sampai sekarang ko ! bahkan saat ini inget something itu karena baca blog aku itu aja ! :p di otak aku pun ga ada . aneh aja , ko berkesan sampai sekarang aku masih nyeselin kejadian itu , ya ? buat aku , if i was not cared , so HE WAS ! hahaha ... sekarang aku buat otak aku sesimple mungkin .. kalau kita kehilangan sesuatu , berusaha buat ikhlasin itu dan festive our self ! :D kalau sesuatu itu sangat precious dan hard to forget , berusaha untuk ga terus menerus inget , tapi kenang itu when the time's needed ! :)
anyway .. aku ga semenyedihkan itu ko sekarang ! mungkin dulu iya .. duluu .. dulu .. dulu sekalii!! tapi sekarang aku sadar .. aku cuma sulit buat lupain sesuatu yang berharga , lovable dan dengannya kita bisa bahagia .. dan something ini ga seberharga , se lovable dan bukan sesuatu yang PERNAH buat aku seneng seperti itu ko ! thats why , i could forget it easily .
sekarang aku lebih harus ngejalanin hidup aku sendiri yang ada didepan . aku orang yang percaa bahwa Tuhan bersama kita dengan rencana - rencana manis - Nya untuk kita yang percaya . life's not all about sadness .. melihat semua dari sisi positif nya . its worked for our better new mind pattern ! :) dan sebenernya ini kunci untuk selalu bahagia jalani hidup :)

my bornday ! :)

2008-02-12T06:21:00.000-08:00

happy birthday to me .. happy birthday to me .. happy birthday happy birthday .. happy birthday to me !!!

pertamanya aku sama sekali ga begitu excited dengan yang namanya ulang taun ! (tepatnya semalam sebelum tanggal 10februari . hehehe) . mau tau kenapa ? atmosfernya kayanya kaya bukan birthday girls situation aja ! hehe . semuanya jalan biasa - biasa aja malahan menyebalkan ! pertama - tama , kalo bolleh aku nebak , kayanya bakalan sedikit sekali yang inget sm ulang taun aku ! makanya aku juga berusaha keras buat bisa pura - pura lupa kalau sebentar lagi aku ulang taun ! haha .. untungnya malem ulang taunnya , mama sama papa ngajakin midnite ! coba kalo ga , mungkin aku bisa membusuk aja gitu nungguin jam dua belas lewat , without friends to talk to , soalnya semua teman mendadak ilang dari peradaban ! huh ! :(
pas jam 12 lewat , aku makin sebel .. chatting sm tmn - tmn tapi mereka ga ngucapin selamat ulang tahun ! huh .. beneran mereka menyebalkan .
besoknya aku sedikit terhibur .. walaupun cuma dirumah , tapi sahabat sejak smp aku , mirna , dateng ! yang buat lebih mengharukan lagi , dia keluar dari mobil dengan satu kue kecil bentuk babi dan warna pinkk doong , sama lilin ! terus nyanyi happy birthday song dan nyuruh aku buat tiup lilin didepan rumah ! wow .. how so sweet ! jujur aja aku seneng banget , aku kira mirna ga akan inget ! :D lalu kita cerita cerita , tentang pacar barunya , tentang masalah aku , sampai nostalgia tentang jaman kita kelas satu smp , mulai dari kesiangan masuk sekolah gara - gara main terus sm chatting , sampai dikejar - kejat orang gila .. whoaa , how i miss her ! :)
aku pikir cuma itu aja cerita hari ulang taun aku yang bisa bikin aku sedikit terhibur . dan bikin aku sadar kalo ga semua orang ga peduli sama aku . iihihi :D soalnya , setelah itu aku makan - makan bareng keluarga , dan disana mama aku bilang betapa temen - temen aku sayang & peduli sm aku ! kata mama , tmn - tmn aku , anggota geng level2 udh tlp in mama sejak jumat buat ngerencanain bikin surprise night buat aku ! tapi terpaksa ga jadi , soalnya papanya tata sakit ... kata mama , mereka nyuruh mama ninggalin aku sendirian dirumah hari minggu malem , dan kebetulan waktu itu papa pernah minta tmnin ke acara bali dance festival di itb .. akhirnya ngerencanain buat ninggalin aku sendirian dirumah , tadinya .. terus , karena mereka hafal banget aku paling takut sama yang namanya hantu dan unsur - unur mistis lainnya , mereka mau nakut - nakutin aku terus bikin party kecil - kecilan dirumah ! wahh .. denger ceritanya aja aku udah merinding ! pantesan mereka sebelumnya judes banget dan ga nunjukin gelagat kalo mereka bakalan inget sama ulang taun aku ! ;D ternyata , ga semua yang aku pikir sebelumnya bener ! hehehe skrg aku bakalan inget kalau hari minggu kemarin , aku ulang taun looh ! dan ulang taun itu moment yang selalu menyenangkan .. being loved ! :D
hari itu hari yg menyenangkan koo .. walaupun ujungnya aku cuma dihibur sama penari bali mahasiswa si papa , aku seneng ko ! apalagi mengingat kalo dugaan aku salah , bahwa sebenernya masih banyak yang care sm aku ! :) aku masih bisa ketawa malem itu .. ngeliat si papa disuruh joget didepan panggung sm mahasiswinya ! ahhahha ! memalukan pa !
senangnya juga .. akhirnya senin kita hang out ! menghabiskan malam yang bukan malam minggu tentunya , sambil tertawa - tawa . hehhehe . walaupun cape banget dan efeknya aku buat mobil tergores - gores lagi (aduh , bisa kacau dimarahin .. ) , tapi aku senengg ! :D
thanks dear .

apapun yang terjadi , aku masih punya temen - temen aku loo , and they are totally incredible !